First Step

Eudaimonia Tip # 4 – Be determined and find your first step of action.

September has always been special to me, not just for the fact that it’s my birth month, but it also houses two favorite seasons, with the beginning of the month being the end of summer, and the end of the month the beginning of fall.  The magic of the month happens somewhere in the middle as the green leaves prepare to shed their sepia tone to display a breathtaking spectacle of colors. These last few days of 95 + degree heat and intense humidity have felt like living on another planet where the outside atmosphere is inhabitable and special precautions have to be taken to spend any time outdoors. Thankfully, the rain has come today to cool things off and start the transition into fall.

I have mixed feelings about this fall season. I’m ready for the cooler weather, but this year I must endure the cooler weather alone. The memories keep popping up on my phone of the adventures that my late boyfriend and I took this time last year which are hard to view because they are both precious and painful. Typically, the upcoming holiday season is a time to break out the jack-o-lantern, display the cornucopia centerpiece, and start decking those halls! Usually, I would be starting to think of what theme I want for my Christmas tree, but not this year. This year my holiday aspirations are more aligned with burying my head in a pillow until Jan 2nd. It’s not that I dislike the holidays, I just don’t want to partake in them this year. I’m sure this is all part and parcel for the grieving process, and maybe I’ll change my tune in a couple of weeks, but I’m not holding my breath.

There is a lot of energy that goes into reinventing a life while trying to understand and accept the events of the past. I wonder if I’m longing to skip the holidays, or just longing to avoid the human interactions that come with them. I’m finding solace in isolation. I know for most this is not healthy, but this is what I need. Time to be alone and heal from the inside out, not just mentally, but physically. I haven’t been taking care of what I put into my body, and this is causing further frustration in my ability to move forward with my life, as my confidence is in shambles. But moving forward is a must, and staying stagnant is unacceptable. As my good friend, Gloria Estefan would say “Stand up and take some action.”

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/gloriaestefan/getonyourfeet.html

Action it is. The path to total healing has begun, as this week I’ve completed a two-day detox that has helped eliminate the crap from my system. I hope the detox not only helps jump start my energy levels, which have been abysmal lately but also elevates my mood. I am determined to gain control of my life, and the detox is the first step in a long road to achieving a life well lived.

 

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